


The One Where They Win

by Ellamoose



Series: Home [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finale? What Finale?, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Inherit the Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28960674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellamoose/pseuds/Ellamoose
Summary: Jack, Sam, and Dean hatch a plan to rescue Cas from the Empty and Dean gets his chance to process everything that's happened since they left Chuck by that lake.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124159
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	The One Where They Win

Jack had warned Dean about the Empty. The weight of it, the oppressive absence of everything. He knew his eyes were open, but he couldn’t see a damn thing. He could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he took calming breaths, but could also feel the complete absence of his body. His feet carry him forward, but there’s nowhere to go, so Dean may as well be treading in place in a swamp. 

Just like when he feels a change in the room when Cas appears, Dean now feels a presence behind him. Or was it in front? All sense of direction is lost too. It feels like when a wave crashes over you and tosses you around in the ocean until you can’t tell which way is up and your lungs are tightening as you search for the surface that will allow you to breathe again. 

_ Hellooo,  _ a voice croons, sing-songy and unsettling. Dean turns and almost rejoices that there’s a figure standing in the distance of this nothingness. At least then his eyes have something to focus on. 

_ Where’s Cas?!  _ Dean tries to say it aloud, he hears it echo in the darkness like he did, but his mouth doesn’t move. 

_ Oooh, little Castiel is far away.  _ The shape ripples as it moves closer to Dean, its limbs are too long and dripping in sludgy nothingness. The head tilts as it moves even closer. Dean feels like he’s underwater, drowning in how badly he wants to run. But he came here for a reason, and he’s not going to give an inch.

_ Give him back, you son a bitch.  _

An unsettling giggle echoes around Dean.  _ Why would I do that? He’s mine.  _

Dean hears more echoes, the screams and cries of thousands of voices. It’s only for a split second, but it’s enough to make Dean feel like he’s being torn in half. He feels his hands clap over his ears, as if that’s going to help. The shape in front of him also flinches and the rippling on the surface turns to waves of spikes cascading over its surface. Dean can feel the anger, the irritation, and the barely contained ferocity of the Empty. 

_ What is this?!  _ he calls out after the noise is gone. 

_ You and your angel, and that child woke up every being in this place.  _

The sounds break through again and bring Dean to his knees. If only he could see anything other than the figure in front of him. He can’t see the ground his knees hit, and though he knows there’s nothing there, it still makes his bones ache all the way up to his head. 

_ All that noise,  _ it hisses at Dean.  _ Not so pleasant is it?  _ It melts into a puddle and swirls around Dean.  _ Makes it awfully hard to think, doesn’t it? _

Dean cries out, trying to hear himself over the noise.  _ Please! _

Slowly, the volume decreases as the shape regains its composure and its form. 

Dean looks it straight in the empty face, the outline of a head that ripples like a lake after dark.  _ Give him back, and we’ll help you. _

It tilts its head again. Dean clenches his fist, and closes his eyes, not that it changes his view much. He trades the darkness interrupted by this sole figure for the darkness beneath his eyelids. His eyes are burning from the tears that want to fall, but he can’t let them. 

_ Give him back. And Jack will help you stop all this noise.  _

It laughs at him. The sound mixing with the faint cries of the countless angels and demons Dean hears seeping through the nothingness again. 

_ That boy can’t do anything here. _

_ There’s never been anything like him.  _ Dean tries to stand firm. He opens his eyes, head swimming from the vertigo induced by trying to focus on the dark figure.  _ Jack’s already ripped up every rule book on Earth. Why couldn’t he help you? _

It doesn’t react, doesn’t say a word, but he can feel how it is staring at him as it considers its options.

_ Don’t you want to get back to sleep? When was the last time you had this many people banging on your door?  _ Dean continues, hoping and praying he’s got a chance.  _ I think we can fix this. We want to fix this. Chuck’s gone. Jack wants to set things right. Don’t we all deserve a little peace? _

_ That doesn’t change the fact that Castiel made a deal with me,  _ it growls at Dean, the sludge of its form undulating, and Dean cringes at the anger it radiates.  _ But you do have a point about peace.  _

It’s able to regain enough focus to silence the noise surrounding them. The oppressive absence of sound isn’t any less disorienting for Dean, but it gives him a chance to think clearly enough to offer one more plea.  _ Please. _

The shape swirls around Dean, crushing down on him as it says,  _ I will let you have Castiel, but only if you make all of this infernal noise cease. If you don’t, I will find you and drag you both back here.  _

Before Dean can say anything, he feels the wind rush out of his lungs as his back hits solid ground. He coughs and gasps for air, his right hand gripping painfully into the gravel beneath him as he rolls onto his side. Dean squints and waits for his eyes to adjust to the bright sunshine that warms his limbs. There’s a deep, dreadful iciness in his body, and he takes in a long, shaky breath. He can feel life and warmth, and the smell of grass slowly refilling his body. 

“Dean!” Sam’s voice breaks through the fog in his head, and Dean is able to focus his vision on his brother crouched in front of him. 

“Hey Sammy,” he croaks. Sam grips both shoulders and helps Dean sit up. His legs kick out in front of him, and he rests his hands on his knees as he takes deep breaths. Dean looks around, reorienting himself to where they are, sitting outside the bunker, near the treeline. 

“Did it work?” Sam’s brow is creased. He sits down in the dirt in front of Dean, waiting for him to answer. One more long inhale helps Dean feel that much more alive and he smiles sadly at Sam because he just isn’t sure if they really pulled it off. If the Empty really did give Cas back, where is he? 

“Dean?” Jack appears next to them, putting a hand on his shoulder. Dean opens his mouth to answer both of them, but the sound of someone falling a few feet away makes all three of them jump. Dean whips around, rising to his feet, and locks onto Cas’ limp body laying on the ground with his back to them. 

“Cas!” He rushes and collapses back down onto his knees, almost sliding into Cas’ back. He grabs a fistful of Cas’ trenchcoat, rolls him on his back, and presses both hands into Cas’ shoulders. “Please, please, please.” Dean says it like a prayer as he shakes Cas’ frame. Slowly, Cas breathes in, and opens his eyes. They land on Dean, locking in an intense stare and Cas blinks a few more times. His brows pull together as confusion and worry spread across his face. “Dean?”

Dean feels an embarrassingly desperate noise rip out of his lungs as he folds in half over Cas. He wraps his arms around him, pulling Cas up into an awkward, crushing hug. Slowly, he wraps his arms around Dean’s waist and one of his hands grips into the edge of Dean’s t-shirt. Tears quietly stream down Dean’s cheeks but he doesn’t care, he just buries his face further into Cas’ neck and tightens his grip around him.

Little by little, Dean can feel the adrenaline in his body dissipate and he’s finally able to make himself let go and help Cas sit up. Dean looks up and realizes Jack and Sam are standing next to him, but he doesn’t care how long they’ve been there or that they can see how the tears on his cheeks have left streaks in the dirt caking his face. 

“You did it.” Jack smiles at Dean. Sam lets out a small, incredulous laugh, like he can’t believe they actually won. They help Cas and Dean stand up, and Jack wraps Cas in a hug. Cas hugs him back, and makes quick eye contact with Dean over Jack’s shoulder before averting his eyes. It places a shard of ice in Dean’s chest, knowing how much is still left to be said between them, but right now he’s just so damn glad to have Cas back.

Cas lets go of Jack and looks at the three men. “I- I can’t believe this.” He shakes his head as he stares at them in awe and concern. “There was no way to break that deal… how am I here?”

“I made a new deal,” Dean says, his chin set in a defiant line. “And we’ll figure it out.”

“Dean,” Cas says in a long sigh, frustration and worry lining every letter of his name. 

“You’re a dumbass if you thought I wasn’t going to find a way to get you out of that deal. That  _ we _ ,” Dean gestures to Sam and Jack as well, “would just leave you there.”

“We’re a family,” Sam says as he reaches out and grips Cas’ shoulder. “We don’t give up on family, Cas.” He squeezes his shoulder gently and pulls him into a hug. 

They break from their hug after a moment, and Sam leads them back into the bunker, trading the warm sunlight for the comfort of their home’s warm lamplight.

Jack and Cas head for the library, and Dean can hear Jack begin retelling how they beat Chuck and Jack’s new title as God. Dean feels that ice in his chest spread a little further as he thinks back on the weeks that have passed since Cas was taken by the Empty. The memories make his whole body uneasy and he clenches his fists as his lungs tighten with too many emotions.

“I’m gonna get a beer,” Sam says, exhausted and leaning against the war room table. “Want one?”

Dean shakes his head, “No thanks.” The weight he feels is crushing, but he manages to smile at Sam. “We did it, Sam.”

Sam smiles back at him and pats him on the shoulder before heading toward the kitchen. Dean watches his brother walk away and then turns to see Cas and Jack sitting at the long table in the library. They’re sitting next to each other, talking quietly. Cas is sat facing Dean, and he can see how Cas’ expression turns worried as Jack continues to catch him up on everything that’s happened since that horrible night. His eyes flick up and focus on Dean. The air in Dean’s lungs turns to cement, and he feels frozen in place. The corner of his mouth twitches as he tries to give a reassuring nod to Cas, but he struggles with every motion. He turns and retreats down the hallway, head dropped as he watches his feet carry him through the bunker. 

Dean doesn’t realize where he’s going until he ends up in the bathroom, peeling off his dirt-covered clothes. He winces as he pulls his jeans off, not noticing until now that he scraped both knees when he fell to the ground next to Cas. 

He turns on a showerhead, and sets the water to as hot a temperature as he can handle. That feeling of being completely encased in sludge in the Empty returns, making Dean feel like he’s trapped and drowning. It makes the cracks in his heart deepen as he thinks about Cas being there,  _ twice _ now, and both times were because of Dean.

Cas. The one who’s sacrificed everything for him, over and over again. Everytime he thinks about everything Cas said to him before summoning the Empty that night, Dean wants to run. He wants to hide. But he also feels the floor fall out from beneath him every time. He can’t move, can’t run. Because  _ of course _ he loves Cas, but to hear the angel say that to him? It was too much to bear as he sacrificed himself for Dean yet again.

Dean lets the hot water run over him, bracing his hand against the tiled wall, and tries to ignore the tears that well up. He lets out a jagged sigh and leans against the wall, feeling utterly lost with all of these feelings at once. The hot water in the bunker doesn’t run out, and with nothing to help him track the passage of time, Dean loses himself in the moment. He’s not sure how long he stands there, just letting the white noise of the shower drown out his quiet sobs. Whether they’re sobs of guilt, loss, or relief, Dean will never be able to tell. 

He’s not sure how much time goes by, but Dean finally composes himself, and grabs a towel off the rack as he steps out of the shower. He wraps the towel around his waist and tosses his clothes in the hamper. The cool air of the bunker makes him shiver as he makes the quick walk from the showers to his room, so he quickly throws on clean clothes to warm back up. Dean sinks his hands into the pockets of his zip up jacket, reveling in the warmth, and looks around his room. It’s clean again, thanks to a burst of energy before they hatched their plan to send Dean to the Empty. He spends a couple minutes leafing through his vinyl records, fidgets with the papers stacked on his desk, but he can’t settle on any one thing to do.

Sighing, Dean heads out into the hallway and starts to wander. Before long, he ends up at the same doorway he’s found himself walking to almost every day for the past few weeks. They still haven’t fixed the doorway to the dungeon after Billie knocked it off its hinges. With the world ending again, Dean didn’t care about it beyond propping the door against the wall. But he stands in the doorway almost everyday, staring at the back wall. That ice-cold grip on his heart returns as he stares at the bricks, reliving every moment again and again. Part of him wants to say it’s stupid, they got Cas back after all. But he’s still terrified, and heartbroken, and angry. 

“Dean?” Cas’ gravelly voice makes Dean blink and finally look away from that wall. He’s leaning against the hallway, arms crossed and jaw clenched, but he pushes himself away from the wall when he looks over to see Cas standing a few feet away watching him wearily. “What are you doing down here?”

Dean looks away, staring at his feet. “You know,” he starts slowly, almost whispering, “I’ve walked down here every day since. Every day. And I stare at that wall. Because it all happened so fast. And I was so angry and confused, Cas.” He looks up at him and the worry on his face and the tilt of Cas’ head is almost enough to bring Dean to his knees all over again. 

“And what you said-”

“Dean, I don’t expect you-” 

He holds his hand up to stop Cas. Dean takes a few steps towards him, presses a hand against his own chest, like he’s trying to hold himself together. “You’ve changed me in so many ways too, you dumb son of a bitch. And you know me better than anyone. Even Sam. And should you know better than to tell me that. That you  _ love me _ , as you’re about to throw yourself into the jaws of death  _ again.” _

“I had no choice, Dean,” Cas pleads as he steps closer to Dean, slowly closing the gap between them. “She was going to  _ kill _ you. And Sam and Jack needed you.”

“We could’ve found another way.” It all feels like too much again, and Dean leans back against the wall, slowly sliding down until he’s sitting on the cold floor. He says in anguish, “I didn’t have to lose you like that. It wasn’t fair.”

Cas steps closer and sits in front of Dean in the hall, blocking Dean’s view of the room through that broken doorway. His eyes seem to carry all of the same weight and pain that Dean is feeling, and it makes Dean drop his head and take in a sharp breath. Cas hesitates as his hand hovers over Dean’s leg just above his knee, but he finally lets his hand rest there, trying to comfort Dean. “No. It wasn’t fair. But it was the only way I could save you. And the world needed you.”

One tear drops from Dean’s face and lands on his shirt. He sniffs and scrubs both hands over his eyes. Cas’ hand is a comforting weight on his leg, and he stares at it as Cas continues, “Fate has never given you a break, Dean Winchester, and you shoulder it with every fiber of your being. I’m sorry I had to add to that weight. I just hope,” Cas pauses and shakes his head, his lips pursed.

Dean looks up at him. “Just hope what?”

Cas takes a steadying breath before looking deep into Dean’s eyes. “I hope that it wasn’t too much that we can’t ever be like we were. Family.”

A disbelieving laugh bubbles out of Dean’s lungs. “I literally just went to the Empty, Cas. I wouldn’t do that for just anyone.” 

He quickly wipes his hand across his face, hoping they’re the last tears he has to shed for a long time. “Cas. When we were in purgatory. You heard my prayer, but did you know what I couldn’t say?”

Cas’ eyes are starting to glisten as he stares at Dean, and he quickly looks away as a tear falls. Dean dips his head to reconnect that eye contact. “I don’t know when exactly I first felt it, but you’re the person I think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I finally fall asleep. I’ve lost you so many times, and I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep living each time. And I’ve never said those words, but I think them all the time. Saying them out loud? It’s terrifying, Cas. It feels like it’ll break this thing we already have.”

His hand falls to lay on Cas’ hand still resting on his leg, and he can’t bring himself to look him in the eyes anymore. 

“And then you said all those things to me, and it felt like you broke something in me. Something I’d been trying to push aside for so long. And now you’re actually here. I can’t believe you’re actually here. It’s too good to be true.” He cuts himself off as he starts to ramble.

“What are you trying to say, Dean?”

It’s dead quiet in this hallway as Dean takes a moment to breathe. It feels like the moment right before jumping off a cliff, his feet just inching past the rock’s edge. He can feel his heart beating a mile a minute against his ribs, but rather than say anything just yet, Dean reaches out and pulls Cas into a hug. He wraps his arms around Cas’ torso and rests his temple against his shoulder. Cas brings his arms up to enclose Dean in the hug, pulling him away from the wall. He can feel Cas’ hands press into his back, radiating warmth and comfort, and his head gingerly falls to rest against Dean’s.

Dean smiles, and this time it feels real. “I love you too, Cas.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story! Please leave a comment if you liked it. Anything, even an emoji or "i loved this!" (if you loved it) will make my day. And come say hi on tumblr (starrynights-brokenhalos) if you want!


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